finding the good after loss

the blog

May 15, 2020

Grieving a parent

Posted in: My Grief Story, My Life

So, my Dad died. He died 26 days ago. His death was a shock, but at the same time a relief in ways. My Dad was a unique individual. I always used to say he was in “Gene World”. He was so obviously to many things. Maybe that was because he was in such a dark place. He could only focus on his health issues and didn’t know any other way. He did however have better days. Days when I would call and he would talk to my two daughters. My oldest would have little conversations with him. It was so heart warming.

Now we all miss him so. I miss not seeing “Dad” on my phone when he called. I still go to call him (which I know that won’t go away) I miss not busting his chops, or him busting mine cause I’m getting close to 40. I miss him calling me “BUD”(it was a nickname my Mom and Dad called me). My Dad ughh. We didn’t have the best father son relationship but I did everything I could, to make sure he was well after my Mom died. I always used to give my Dad a kiss on his cheek when I arrived and left. I remember someone saying to me when I was younger. Why do you give your Dad a kiss? I was like, “cause it’s my Dad”. Like WTF

Geno as many called him wasn’t himself over the last couple years. His health deteriorated and he was in and out of hospitals for similar things. He was so frustrated with what was happening to him, that his body just could not overcome this last episode. His body couldn’t fight anymore. It was as if he was in a boxing match with himself. He would be good for a couple weeks and get knocked back down. There was nothing I could do to change that and that was one of the hardest things to handle.

Eugene or “Euge” which is what he was nicknamed in High school was loved by many people. He was well like and the outpouring of support from his HS and CYO friends during this time as been so overwhelming. It helps me remember my Dad as the young and healthy Dad he was when I was younger. Going through old pictures and sharing them for people to see each night for the past 3 in a half weeks as been my memorial, since I can’t have a funeral for him (at least at this point in time). Eventually I’ll be able to bring my Dad’s remains to the memorial I’ll have for him and then to the cemetery where he will be buried with my Mom and Sister.

Dad, I love you and miss you more than anyone could know. I am so comforted that you are pain free and don’t have to deal with all those health issues any longer. I can see you with Mom and Katie, o how that reunion must have been. Those hugs were like hugs I could have never given you. So for now, I ll be here living my life through all three of you. I ll have you all right by my side smiling and also saying WTF are you doing “Bud” if I do something silly. I’ll be here telling the girls all the stories about you and how you did these things and Mom did this for me growing up. I know I’ ll be ok in time, because you all taught me that everything works itself out and to be patient. Rest In Peace Dad. I love you forever Bud.

  1. Gordon says:

    Great story. Difficult to be this transparent but as you well know… Necessary!
    Keepmmoving forward, bud!

  2. Betty Churchill says:

    Thanks for sharing this ❤️

  3. Love and hugs Cuz. Miss you Uncle Gene.

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