On the eve of my mom’s 20 year anniversary of her passing, I look back and remember that day as if it was yesterday. February 17, 2000 I didn’t even see the pitch coming, It felt like I got hit with the pitch and I couldn’t get up. I think back and I could tell you an almost exact account of what happened from beginning to end of that day. As the days went on it still felt like I was getting hit pitch after pitch. For a while I didn’t know how to dodge the pitches. Each thing I did brought a memory of my Mom. If you have lost someone close like this, you probably know exactly what I mean.
My Mom was the glue to the family, she kept us together. If we got out of place, who was there smack us upside our head. As the weeks and mnths went on, I started figuring out how to dodge getting hit by those pitches and started swinging and missing. It felt like I couldn’t do anything right. Not many people at 18 years old would know how to do things your parents always took care of. I got thrown into learning, and by learning I starting swinging and hitting those pitches I once was getting hit with, which felt like all the time. Luckily for me I did know a few things before my Mom died. I used to go food shopping for my Mom often, and also knew how to write a check correctly =)
Months and years went by and more hits start coming, but don’t get me wrong I was still getting hit by those pitches. You grow and learn to live without the most important person in your life. Yes it sucks, but you have to live on. My mom wouldn’t have wanted me to have done it any other way. It still amazes me how much I learned from my Mom in the short 18 years I had with her. It is crazy that I have made it through 20 years, Then again after what I have done in that time frame, it really isn’t so crazy. So tomorrow I will be sad, I will not sulk, I may cry, I will be happy, I will sit with the feelings that come. I may get hit with a pitch, but you better believe I’m going to try and hit a home run in honor of my sweet Mother.
Be yourself, Love yourself, Sit with the feeling that come. Its ok if you feel like you are getting hit with those pitches. What matters is the day you learn how to hit that curve ball, just like I did.
I love you Mom 2-10-53 / 2-17-00
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