Grief really cant kick rocks, but if you don’t take care of yourself it can kick your butt….
A friend from High school past away last week. It was a shock to me even though I knew he was ill, but not ill to the point of him passing on. The first thing I said to myself was “here we go again” How am I going to deal with this? Although, we haven’t spoke much since HS, we stayed in contact through FB. I wasn’t able to attend the services since I live three states away and all the the other logistics of it. I’m stilling asking myself, how can I deal? My anxiety was greatly elevated. One of the ways I was able to make myself better and make my presence felt was by sending flowers. It was nothing to big, but it was something. I also reached out to one of his best friends in a message. I always feel drawn to comfort others in time of grief, In a way it comforts me….. Interesting huh?
The day of the service, I wasn’t myself. Whenever someone dies that I either know or I am close to it brings up old feelings. Its like I played the service in my mind. I analyze things sometimes way to much. I can remember my mothers funeral from beginning to end. Its sucks, I know but it makes me stronger. We all know you cant suppress grief, you have to let it takes it course. I was able to deal with the loss of my friend by focusing myself on helping his closer friends deal with grief. It makes my soul happy knowing that they know they aren’t dealing with his loss alone.
He was loved by many and was a kind soul. He will be greatly missed, but the memories I have will always make me smile. Take the memories of your lost loved ones with you where ever you go.