Memories of being a child

My youngest daughter asked the other night at dinner.

“Mama, Daddy”Do you like being an adult? It made us both think. Of course we both answered yes, but deep down I miss being a kid. My daughter then said, I don’t want to be an adult, cause you have to work and pay bills and can’t play much…. My wife and I just giggled, and said yup!

One question for you to ask/ answer. Can an adult grieve being a kid? I sure think so. It may sound funny but I miss it most when it snows in other places that we either lived in or know people that live there. Growing up in Jersey we had a lot of snow. I would get all excited to shovel and make the mounds of snow. The snow ball fights, the snow angels. I also didn’t mind driving in it. Sounds crazy I know, maybe it has something to do with my interest in weather overall. When I was a kid I wanted to go to school and study meteorology. You know that blogging from paradise guy right? My cousin Ryan. He actually studied it in college. He interned at a NJ news station. Maybe that was what interested me in it more.

It snowed here in NC last year, we got 4 in over night. It was something my oldest daughter dreamt of and it happened. She was overjoyed and wanted to play in it all day. I lived vigorously through her since I couldn’t play with them cause of work. Missing being a kid is something some adults grieve. Keeping the memories of being a kid just makes me smile. Reminiscing over stories with our kids helps me bring me back to those days. Running around playing games, getting called home when the street light comes on is what I did as a kid.

Good grievings- taking not only the memories of your loved ones with you, but also taking the memories you have made from being a kid and growing up with you to make your heart and soul happy.

Grief comes in MANY different ways

I have connected with so many cool, happy, positive, hip people over past 2 years.  There are few that I have been in contact with on a normal basis.  I thought it would be cool to ask them to write a blog for me to share on here.  I asked them to write about how they dealt or deal with Grief in their world.  Here is what they had to say.

This first post is from the one and only Jazz  She is an awesome soul, who I have got to know through Ash   Jazz tells it like it is, and is a great person to talk to.  In this post Jazz talks about the 3 ways she has dealt with grief after her Grandfather passed away.

Title: 3 Self-Care Strategies To Heal During Grief

When my grandfather passed away in December 2016, I felt that type of anxiety of having to drop everything and rush back home to New York. I dreaded the cold blistering air and dealing with respiratory issues didn’t make the situation any easier. Besides the weather, was the impending depressing feeling of witnessing an open casket. All of these emotions mounted as I felt my body and spirit slip into a state of numbness, seclusion, and sadness.

Grief has a way of impacting our physical health. Everything from appetite loss to emotional eating habits to anxiety, grief can cause an individual to avoid feeling the bittersweet emotions and the grief that comes with; doing so, can put a toll on one’s health in the long-term.

But even with that awareness, there is no way to avoid grief. Whether we like it or not, it is a part of this journey we call Life. I’ll admit, having to come to this conclusion took some time to understand. It served as the basis for me to seek solutions towards overcoming the grief in healthier ways.

I do believe that we can incorporate helpful self-care practices that can promote well-being so we can live our lives to the fullest. It can help to ease the grief as we recount and honor the beloved ones who have departed.

Below are three self-care practices that can help to foster self-healing in simple ways:

  • Welcome Feelings and Watch Them Go

Rather than running away from the emotions of grief, face and fell into it. Keeping them bottled up will only allow it to come back again and ruin your day. Sometimes, those very same feelings can come back with intensity. So embrace those feelings of heartache, depression, sadness, shock, and loss and acknowledge their presence.  Allow the tears to flow and the emotions to purge. In addition, give yourself a reasonable time and space to go through this process.

  • Get Out in Nature

One of the best things about meditating outdoors is feeling the warmth of the Sun. When my grandfather past away, I felt so much peace being in solitude outside in nature especially near the avocado tree he planted. It should come as no surprise that getting outside in nature to take in the fresh air is comforting and can be helpful during the grieving process. You can connect with the Earth in many ways using most of your senses: walk barefoot on the grass, breathe in the fresh air, watch the calming waters of a lake or stream, and listen to the birds’ songs. This connection allows you to centered yourself and find immense comfort.

  • Keep On Moving

The act of movement can help to release underlying grief while making your body stronger. Dancing, for example, is a fun way to channel out built-up stress and negative emotions. If dancing is not your forte, consider yoga, tai chi, pilates or some other mind-body exercises to help let go of the physical stress behind your emotions. Alternatively, even going to the gym for weightlifting can work just as well.

Grief is inevitable. However, by redirecting the low energy and choosing to foster a healthy practice is important and beneficial to our well-being. Our restoration with grief lies in the choices we make for ourselves. Be sure to make it a healthy one.

Warmest regards,


The Second post was written by my man Bryan Taylor. I met him for the first time through a podcast I did with Soul Gab with Ash and Jazz. He is a real cool dude with a lot of great stuff, be sure to check him out.   In this post Bryan writes about grief and how it pertains to him through work and relationships. He gives a different perspective, that you don’t just grieve a lost loved one.

    I was asked a couple of weeks ago to write a blog about grieving. When thinking about this, there are many ways of thinking of or looking at grieving. There’s losing someone close to you. There’s being forced to remove people from your life & the hurt that may come from releasing that person. The list goes on & on. I think writing this about the willingness to ignore grieving since I experienced this nearly a year ago, what happens when you lose a job (or are let go) & you are supposed to take time to get through that loss of being employed until finding another job. 

I’m actually going to break down ignoring the grieving from two different perspectives. The first is what I mentioned in the previous section regarding being fired & not really taking time to deal with the fact that you’re unemployed. The second direction of ignoring grieving is one that I have told numerous times regarding how hard it is for us to just enjoy being single and alone (NOT LONELY, because that’s something I’ve seen get people in trouble without knowing it). I’m gonna do my best to slow-walk these pieces & find a way to make them relatable to real life. So, without further ado, here we go.

As I briefly mentioned, nearly a year ago, I experienced a blind side form of grief. I went to work on a regular day. I was brought in for a discussion with my then-manager & noticed another manager was there (for witnessing), & I wasn’t really putting the pieces together. The main way to put it was that I had errors that caught up to me, which caused me to be let go. I was and still am accountable for that portion. When it happened, I didn’t take any days or time to myself and just feel hurt by being out of work. I started going online looking for a job, applying for unemployment, & going through the process. I had to realize that regardless, the chapter is still being written, even if I’m sitting and stopping. Luckily, I was able to bounce back within a couple of months, & despite that not working out, I got back to my drawing board & returned somewhere that always felt like & was considered home. I think that this stage of not grieving helped me to push and press forward. You may not see it as grief, but it was definitely a point of not grieving and being forced to get me in the right place for my future.

The other side of the grieving coin (that I still regret to this day) is how I never gave my heart time to heal. I was calling myself being in love. I even talked about this on my podcast. I shared how it was mostly me dating someone, getting involved, and when it was or wasn’t going right, we would call it quits. Instead of giving my mind, heart, and SPIRIT time to heal, I was basically on to the next one. One of the relationships shouldn’t have happened whatsoever. The final one was the one that caused me to be extremely patient with myself. I think that we sometimes are put in situations that cause us to wonder what we did wrong, & once we find out that reasoning and factor, then it all comes into place. I am constantly humbled by life, but I think this humbling is what caused me to really remember that it’s not all about me. I had dated once after that lack of grieving, & coincidentally, I took a HUGE break. It’s a VERY selfish break. I am glad that I did. This is the true point of learning how to grieve. Being single does consist of trying to be lonely. That’s what I pointed out earlier…the difference between being alone & being lonely. You choose to be lonely if you’re not willing to witness that there are people around you who are in your corner. That’s just the best way to see it. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed this blog. I will definitely be working harder on improving me & everything around me. Until next time, this is BT signing out.

Grief can go kick rocks

Grief really cant kick rocks, but if you don’t take care of yourself it can kick your butt….

A friend from High school past away last week. It was a shock to me even though I knew he was ill, but not ill to the point of him passing on.  The first thing I said to myself was “here we go again”  How am I going to deal with this?  Although, we haven’t spoke much since HS, we stayed in contact through FB.  I wasn’t able to attend the services since I live three states away and all the the other logistics of it. I’m stilling asking myself, how can I deal?  My anxiety was greatly elevated.  One of the ways I was able to make myself better and make my presence felt was by sending flowers.  It was nothing to big, but it was something.  I also reached out to one of his best friends in a message.  I always feel drawn to comfort others in time of grief,  In a way it comforts me….. Interesting huh?

The day of the service, I wasn’t myself.  Whenever someone dies that I either know or I am close to it brings up old feelings. Its like I played the service in my mind. I analyze things sometimes way to much. I can remember my mothers funeral from beginning to end.  Its sucks, I know but it makes me stronger. We all know you cant suppress grief, you have to let it takes it course. I was able to deal with the loss of my friend by focusing myself on helping his closer friends deal with grief. It makes my soul happy knowing that they  know they aren’t dealing with his loss alone.

He was loved by many and was a kind soul.  He will be greatly missed, but the memories I have will always make me smile.   Take the memories of your lost loved ones with you where ever you go.