finding the good after loss

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January 29, 2019

Counseling, The best choice I made

Posted in: Help & Resources

After my mom died I was so distracted by many things.  Work, helping my dad, school, then my dad having surgery and a bit after becoming handicapped. It wasn’t til 3 years later when I realized I needed help.

Fortunately through my job I had an EAP contact (Employee Assistance Program)  If you aren’t familiar with this, its a 24 hour service some companies provide where you can not only receive free sessions of counseling, but they also help with other things. They also give you lists of counselors who are contracted under the EAP, which is great bonus. I’m grateful for this program since I really haven’t had to pay for much counseling over the past 16 years.

I, like many people was skeptical about going to counseling. After the first couple sessions, I knew I needed to be there.   This counselor I had was outstanding.  She was very understanding and got me through the most troubling times.  She is one of those people in life that you just wont forget.  I was going to see her at least 2-3 times a week and than it was scaled back based on and 2. How I was responding to the service.

I went to her for about 6 years in person. Years 2-3 was really when I  felt like I needed to go often. Each time I went I felt like a new person. As you know by now if you have been following along. I moved out of New Jersey and onto AZ. I kept in touch with the same counselor and we did our sessions over the phone, which after a while started not working out,  It just wasn’t the same.  After about a year I found another person to go speak with.  That didn’t last too long. I’m big on first impressions and we weren’t on the same page. It’s one thing to get someone you like, but you also have to work well together to get anything out of the sessions.

therapy, counseling, mental health, support, help, resources

Through all this counseling, I would always tell myself I didn’t want to go to counseling for the rest of my life. After so many appointments I thought I can just get through it myself, turns out I really can’t.

I wound up finding another counselor through EAP and he really brought the light to why I couldn’t handle it all myself.   There seemed to be an underlying issue that wasn’t being dealt with and when something bigger happened that underlying fire was lit. It wasn’t until then I realized I needed to deal with the underlying issue. More on that underlying issue at a later time…. I’m forever grateful to this counselor, for he called me out on my shit and was absolutely right about it.   Some people need that, Don’t they?

Now I’m here in this great City Of Wilmington, still going to counseling periodically and trying my hardest to deal with the issues at hand. I have come a long way, and I truly believe that without the counseling I have had and will have I wouldn’t be who I am now.

The main reason I chose to write about this today is because I know there are plenty of people out there contemplating counseling.  I know there are people on my twitter feed that are on the fence about going also.

You can’t force someone to go, but if you are reading this and you are one of these people I would strongly consider it.  It could be a life changer, as it was for me.

If you have gone to counseling and or going to a counselor, I would love to hear about your experience it doesn’t have be personal. I love to hear about how others are bettering themselves.

Thank you for the continued support, I’m off to my counseling session =)

  1. Alaina @ says:

    Great post my love. For sure it is important to find someone you feel comfortable with, but most importantly someone you feel is truly helping you. And if they aren’t that’s okay to move on and find someone else. I appreciate you understanding that counseling is not for everyone and you do not push your pro-counseling beliefs on anyone who hasn’t tried it yet or for those that decided it wasn’t for them. We all grieve, deal with and overcome life’s obstacles differently.

  2. Well said T. All of life’s problems sit in those fear-pains we bury, we resist, and we push deeper. We think problems are outside of us – job, relationships, money – but always, 100%, the problems sit nestled in our fears. Counselors – and cousins 😉 – can help us unearth the feelings, to bring these fears up. Then ya feel ’em, even if the feelings suck royally, then you feel better and better. What a simple and sometimes agonizing process LOL.

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