I have been looking forward to this trip for months. One of the main reasons is for the girls to see family and actually remember it all. They were 3 yrs old and 18 months the last time. It’s gonna be a blast watching them enjoy each day.
There are plenty of other reasons why I’m going to enjoy our trip. Being with family and friends, spending time with my wife on date nights etc. I also look forward to heading to the cemetery to visit my mom and sister grave. Deep down it really hurts that I can’t go as often as I did. I used to be able to go whenever I wanted. I used to go and just talk to them (even though I know they can both hear me at anytime 😉). I used to go and just sit in my car and think, how did I/we end up like this? Why did we end up like this? Everything happens for a reason… If my mom did not pass when I was so young I believe I wouldn’t be who I am today. If my sister didn’t pass when she was so young, I wouldn’t have what I have today. So I ll head there with my girls and hug them and I ll do what I always did. I’ll sing “you are my sunshine” to them and have a good cry and go about day. I’ll show my girls that it’s ok to be sad, even though I’m one of the happiest guys on the planet. I have excepted my life as it is now, without a Mom and sister. I ll continue to live my life knowing they are always around me. I’ll continue living my life knowing that I’m doing the best I can do, and sometimes asking myself (what would my mom do) in difficult situations. I ll keep on smiling.
As the title says “enjoying my life” which my original post was going to be about, I thought I would share with you what I did above. So I guess you ll get a 2 for 1 blog today haha.
My wife and I had a date night a few weeks ago. Friday night as been our date night since our town has a summer concert series. One Friday they had a Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute from a band called Tuesday’s Gone. What an awesome band, and great atmosphere. Skynyrd was one of my father in laws favorites. As the night went on and the music kept playing I kept thinking to myself and said “man Eddie would be having a blast” I could imagine him with a beer in his hand standing next to us doing his silly whole body dance without moving is feet (which only he could accomplish). I could imagine him singing along and smiling, just living it up. I teared up a bit just knowing he is physically missing out on enjoying all of this. Man It sucks, but I know he is with me doing that silly dance and although not drinking a beer, he’s knowing I’m enjoying myself and grieving in a good way remembering his great taste of music.