finding the good after loss

the blog

February 21, 2018

Life and Death

Posted in: Intuition, My Grief Story

2 years ago today my God sister left this world. A strong willed, kind hearted soul. The days leading up to her passing were kinda out of sorts for me. It was tough since I was out in Arizona at the time and they were in New Jersey. I really didn’t know how good or bad she was until 13 days before she passed. I hadn’t spoke to my godmother in a few days so I didn’t know what was going on.

The night of February 7th I had an unsettling night of sleep. I felt that something was off and I had a hunch it is was Amanda. Going back to the (sensing spirit post) you already know my Father law is around a lot. Well I woke up and felt him standing in the bathroom area which was on the opposite side of the room from where I slept (he was almost always in that spot). He was there and very colorful. They say spirits are colorful once they have passed on and are in a happy place. In the doorway to our room was another presence I but couldn’t tell who it was since it was dull and grey. My father in law knew I could sense spirit, maybe he brought the presence to me to help. I tried to get back to sleep and I must have nodded off and while sleeping I heard what sounded like the voice of the tram car down on the Wildwood, NJ boardwalk that said it will be 15 days! (The tram car on the boardwalk says “watch the tram car please”). So, I’m up again and I am saying WTF will be 15 days?

The next morning I wake up and texted my godmother to check in and told her about my night, That it was unsettling but not anything else. She went on to say that Manda was admitted to the hospital because she was having complications and so on. I then asked her when she had gone in and she said February 5th. I was like Holy 🤬. Everything that happened the night before was falling into place. The presence in the doorway had to be Amanda. I contacted a medium to get clarity on how a presence could be a presence if they haven’t passed on. I was told that someone who is in the process of crossing over can be a spirit presence, but they can be very dark or grey. I was like holy 🤬 again. So now the “the tram car voice” that said “15 days” had to mean she was gonna pass on February 20th.

That night I woke up again and both presences were in the same place in the bathroom and in the doorway. Every night after that my father in law was around but the other presence which I assumed was Amanda wasn’t. All I could unfortunately do was countdown the days to the 20th. I didn’t know if the “15 days” was true, since I’m not a medium…. The days went on and I spoke to another medium through FB and asked a question about Amanda. She mentioned in her answer that when spirit isn’t ready to cross over they are probably holding onto something. They don’t wanna let go, just like we don’t wanna let go. She told me to say a prayer to her saying it was ok to let go and that we will all be ok. I can’t remember what night I said that prayer, but on the mid afternoon day on February, 20th 2016 Amanda passed away. She left us all empty inside asking why her?

I flew to NJ for the funeral, still being the only one besides my wife to know what had happened to me the past week. I couldn’t possibly tell this story to my godparents this soon. So I waited since we had a planned family vacation in July of the same year. I told my godmother the story of how it unfolded. She was then one of the few that new my heightened sense of spirituality. I finally felt free as if a weight was lifted off of me. Since then I felt Amanda around often, just watching out for us and making sure we are on the right track.

It’s comforting to me to know I have spirits watching over me and my family.


  1. Right Now (capital “N”) we’ve access to an Infinite number of dimensions. Almost every human sees 1; the physical world. You are accessing a few more dimensions with your gift. Beautiful to see. I’m sure Amanda enjoys your writing. She’s here with us, as is your mom and your sister. Love tunes us into our friends and fam who have left their bodies but are here and Now. Carry on Padawan; keep those posts coming. Love it.


    PS…I dig the new look of your blog.

    • tbiddulph says:

      Thanks man, I turned on the laptop last night and was messing around with the themes. I have so many more ideas to write about. Things that last month I didn’t even want to write. It’s fun!!! Appreciate you cuz


  2. Amanda says:

    Wow! What a beautiful gift you have ❤

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