finding the good after loss

the blog

September 6, 2017

Another bittersweet day

Posted in: Good Grievings, My Life

Today is my oldest daughter’s 5th birthday. Where does time go? It was like yesterday when I first held her in my arms. It was like yesterday when I gave her her first bath, It was like yesterday when I held in her in a her room signing to her for the first time.  I miss those “baby” days.  I miss those cozy baby cuddles when she didn’t  “talk back”.  I miss those times.  As they say they grow up fast.  I now have full conversations with her. She is a Christmas geek just like me and up until a few weeks ago she is totally a weather geek like me.

Today is a day to celebrate, a day to remember those baby days. It’s a day to celebrate the 5 wonderful years of my baby girl.   For me it is bittersweet.  It’s also another birthday that my mom won’t be here to celebrate with her. Yes, I know she is here spiritually but, Having Grandma here to celebrate would be spectacular.  My baby girl didn’t get to meet my mom, but for some reason I know she knows she’s around.  She may not realize it being so young but my mom is guiding her and watching her every move, just like she does with me. Trust me, my mom can and could do it all.  It’s as if she had super powers. She would have given the world to my girls. She would have spoiled them rotten.  That’s What Grandmas do……

I see how BeeMa is around them and it makes me smile. I know she try’s her best to keep them smiling. I’m grateful for my girls to have her here.  I’m glad my girls are able to see what grandmas are for. To spoil and love their grandchildren unconditionally and also help out the parents a lot . Thank you Beemaa. 😉❤️.
So today I will have a heavy heart. Today I will be a little more sad than I usually am. Most of all today I will celebrate my daughters birthday and remember that my mom is right by our sides celebrating with us and smiling as much as she can.   Maybe she is spoiling them spiritually?  Can that happen?  Guess I ll never know….


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