finding the good after loss

the blog

May 11, 2017

Mother’s Day

Posted in: Good Grievings, My Grief Story, My Life

It’s that time of the year again, it’s Mother’s Day. Well at least a few days before. Anyway, for a handful of years I used to dread this time of year, I really did,  I used to shutdown and not wanna talk to anyone.  I used to go to the cemetery and place flowers on my moms grave and my grandmas (since they are neighbors in the ground).  That’s all I did, I didn’t celebrate and do any of that other mumbo jumbo. I really don’t remember what my sister or dad did.  I guess we were just all depressed that the backbone of the family was gone and we were left to somehow live our life without her.

So even though I always did what I felt my mom would do, I was still was grieving over the loss of her especially around this time of year. As the years went on the sadness was there but the pain really wasn’t.  Don’t get me wrong it sucked and still does suck not having her around to celebrate, but her memory is what makes it easier. I still get upset when I see a Mom and her son hug. I still get sappy when a mom and son have a mother son moment on TV, but you know what?  It’s ok!!  It’s called grieving. Yes, after 17 years I’m still grieving, but it’s ok cause it’s “Good Grievings”

As you know by now my mother and I had a strong bond.  I always feel her right by my side, even as I write this post. Sometimes I ask myself, ” what would my mom think of this” or “what would my mom say about that”  I often wonder what she thinks about me and how I raise my two beautiful girls. I think about what she would think about my wife Alaina.  I know she can’t answer me, but I know she would say “ya done good Bud”

As I got older and started a relationship with my then girlfriend now wife. I was introduced to Alaina’s Mom, my now mother in law. She has been the best. We have a great relationship.  I turn to her for advice as if she was my own mom and I love her for that. We would all celebrate mothers days every year just like my dad sister and I used to before my mom died. We would get together, go to brunch or whatever.  Years past Alaina and I had our first daughter.  Now that feeling of my own wife getting to celebrate Mother’s Day filled me with joy. It was a different joy, Something I really can’t explain.  The joy was doubled a few years later when we had our second daughter.  Now every Mother’s Day, I have my girls make Mother’s Day cards for grandma and mommy.

So through all the trials and tribulations folks I made out ok.  Mothers Day isn’t as bad as it was for those handful of years.  It’s all about how you make it.   I’m not saying that a wife and kids will change the way you feel about the loss of your mom.  Everyone’s story is different, so that’s why I say “it’s all about how you make it”.  Are you going to sulk and feel bad for yourself on Sunday?  Or are you going to go out and make your mom smile down on you knowing that she brought you in this world, and she wants YOU to keep going. That’s the only thing we can do is keep going.  Keep going on to live your Mom and my Moms memory. You have got to you remember to live your DASH, cause if you don’t, who will.  Always remember there are “Good Grieving”

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms


  1. Our moms passed on do want us to enjoy this special day. True true T. I also feel Alaina’s mom moved into your life at the perfect time, offering advice and being someone to confide in. It’s been similar with me and my mother in law. We have bonded over the years as my mom’s illness has progressed.

    Happy Mother’s Day to Alaina 🙂


    • tbiddulph says:

      Thanks for your comment Ryan, I’m glad you have that bond with your mother in law. No one can ever be like our moms, but like I said that memory we have of them keeps us going. Love ya bro

  2. Sara says:

    I love you with all my heart…………….

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