Good Grievings

2 years ago this week, my wife and I visited the city we live in for the first time. We came to scope it out and we just fell in love with it. For the year and half we have actually lived here, I would always say “it doesn’t feel like a beach town”. I guess I was kinda thinking it would feel like the Jersey shore and how everywhere you go feels like a beach town. Then again, there is no place like the Jersey Shore 😉.

Then came today, I started working at a new store this passed Wednesday which is 5 minutes from the beach. The store happens to be on an island about 30 mins from where we live. I left a little earlier for work and by the time I was about to go over the bridge to the store the sun was rising. I drove right past the store and parked about 25 steps to the beach. I of course turned the camera on, took a deep breath and let everything go. It was so peaceful and relaxing even though it was 45 degrees, but who gives a shit… IT’S THE BEACH!!! I stayed for about 10 minutes or so and I said to myself I can’t believe this. We moved here to be closer to the beach and closer to family. And now I’m actually working at the beach. So now I can actually say that we live in a beach town and it actually feels like it just from that 10min realization.

It is crazy how positivity plays a huge role in your life. Before we moved here we would always say to each other that we would be moving. We felt it, dreamt it, made a huge sacrifice for it, and look we are here. Some people may not believe that it works this way, but it absolutely does. If your negative all the time you are blinded by all the good there is. If you eat crappy food (sometimes I do) which I’m working on, it will make feel crappy ” you are what you eat” they say. Manifest it, feel it, believe it, and it will come. Trust me! It may not come exactly when you want it to but it will, Positivity is Key!

My wife and I started following @thespiritualguidebook on Instagram. We highly recommend it. It gives you that positive boost you may need each day. Positivity, positivity, positivity Live by it. Below is the picture I snapped this morning. I hope you enjoy it. Now go and find your happy place.

Cheers,

Tom

Just when I thought I wouldn’t have anything to write about, random strangers came into my life and gave me ideas to put down. It’s strange how the world works. This is one of the reasons why believe your life is already set for you, and you just have to go through each day and live it. My Strong ability to sense spirit came in 2 different ways this week. I had 2 different people come into have photos printed. The first time was a girl about my age. Now I had no clue until she handed me the photo and I automatically had an overwhelming feeling that the girl in the photo had passed. I didn’t say anything to her but I just knew. This has happened to me in the past and I was right after asking that person.

The second person came in, but this time I didn’t know. I didn’t know because the person hadn’t passed. We were printing her photos and she told me that the a baby was in a coma. First thing she said was “hug your kids” I immediately got a heavy heart. I turned into the comforter, The consoler. I didn’t ask what happened, but I just told her to be strong and take each moment as it comes. She asked me to say a prayer. I told her that today was my sisters birthday and she is no longer here to celebrate with us, so you have extra prayers coming. We talked for a minute or two. I told her about how young my mom was and how young my sister was. I said there is only one road to take and it’s the high road. When someone has died or close to it, you should always want to live your life through them (goodgrievings😉)

I shook the ladies hand and said be strong and take care. I hope to think she will remember our conversation and be able to help the parents of that sweet baby. I hope she will remember our convo and know that she isn’t alone. I hope that I helped her soul feel a little better about herself. This is one of my goals in life. To make others feel better about themselves when Grief sets in.

Cheers,

Tom

“Starting over” so many people are scared of that phrase. There is absolutely no reason to be. I left the state I grew up in and for the longest time I would say I’m never leaving. I obviously left and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. After 8 years in Arizona it was time to do it again, I started over. So here’s a kid growing up telling himself that he would never leave New Jersey and live there forever. After all I had been through why wouldn’t I want to leave, Right? Some people would have just stayed and sulked about not being able to leave. My wife and I took the chance. No job and newly married, what did we have to lose? It all works out in ways we may not understand. You put your faith and trust in whatever you believe in and go with it, cause we ALL know you only live once.

I feel like your life is already planned for you, and that you just have to go along and live it the best way possible. The more positive you are about your life the easier it will be for you to see through it. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t easy at first. The anxiety and mind racing and all the other stuff that comes with it was all there. It took a few months and some counseling for myself to get through the change, but it was ALL worth it. Only you can make the choice of how to live your life. If something happens to you and you cant deal with it, seek the help! Talk to your friends/family, heck come here to my blog and read all my posts of the all bad hands that I was dealt and how I got through them. How I had to grow up in a blink of and eye. How I moved across the country twice. How I thought I would have a happy go lucky family growing up. If I sound a little angry, I am, but I have learned to deal with it. I will always have anger and those sad feelings. It’s all ok to have them. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. My grief has been turned into goodgrievings 🙂 So keep spreading those Positive Vibes, Spread the Love, and Give a hug.

Cheers,

Tom

Happy Sunday to all you beautiful souls. Today I have another story about a spirit that wasn’t ready to leave this earth. Is anyone ever ready to leave this earth when they die? When my mom passed away my sister and I were teenagers. If you asked me about how the day went down when my Mom passed I could tell you as if it happened yesterday.

My sister and I had friends at the house that same night. We may have been playing a game or just bullshitting. It was maybe 9pm and a phone started to ring. It was coming from under my moms radio where she had ALL of her CDs. My mom loved her music, so you can imagine how many where there. We all didn’t know where the phone was in that area but we found it. By the time we found the phone it had stopped ringing. When my sister picked it up the phone was off!!!! We were astonished, how can it ring being off? Guess it was one of the ways my mom was saying she was still around.

Now remember I didn’t start sensing spirit till about 15 years after my mom so I didn’t even thing anything of it. Just the fact that we all felt my mom wasn’t ready to leave us. She had so much more to live for. I often wonder how it would be with her here. Like, would my sister have passed too? How would my kids be with her? That night we all went to sleep. My parents had a wedding picture on there bedroom wall. It was on the wall when my dad fell asleep. When he woke up, he was holding it in his arms. All these to me now are Goodgrievings.

Continue keeping your loved ones memories with you everywhere they go.

Live, love, laugh, learn

Cheers,

Tom

What’s up ya’ll 😉. Since being in the south I hear it all the time. I say it as a joke because others still crack a joke at the way I say Water. I’m from NJ, You can’t take that outta me so fagettaboutit. So I’m here today to talk about the fuel that keeps me going everyday. The fuel at work, at home, this blog and everyday life. You all know the main fuel that keeps me going is my loving wife and 2 sweet kids. What also keeps me going is the feedback I get from this blog. Both negative and positive. The compliments I get at work, and of course my mom.

Like I previously stated I have gotten negative feedback from this blog. It fuels me because the people that have read my blog and maybe don’t care for it which is fine. I hold hope that one day it may turn them, and something I write may catch their eye or relate to them The positive aspect is obvious. It’s the ones who are in the same wave length as me and are thinking positive and trying to get their word out.

The work side of it comes from the place I’m in. I’m looked at as a high ranking employee in almost everything I do. I am a people person so I meet and talk to great people everyday. My boss is a great guy who is always giving fast feedback to make sure everyone is on the same page.

You are probably asking yourself how can my mom still fuel me to keep going. My mom is always watching over me. She keeps me going cause I try to live my life through her. Not all the time but enough. I sometimes ask myself, what would my mom do. Sometimes I tend to over think things, like a project I have to do. When I start to do that specific project, it’s like I knew what I had to do the whole time. You tell me that my mom isn’t helping me out.😎 It may be tough to believe it if you don’t believe in that kinda stuff (sensing spirit or loved ones always with you) but trust me its true. Read my last post (life and death) and you ll see 😉

Night Ya’ll

Cheers,

Tom

2 years ago today my God sister left this world. A strong willed, kind hearted soul. The days leading up to her passing were kinda out of sorts for me. It was tough since I was out in Arizona at the time and they were in New Jersey. I really didn’t know how good or bad she was until 13 days before she passed. I hadn’t spoke to my godmother in a few days so I didn’t know what was going on.

The night of February 7th I had an unsettling night a sleep. I felt that something was off and I had a hunch it is was Amanda. Going back to the (sensing spirit post) you already know my Father law is around a lot. Well I woke up and felt him standing in the bathroom area which was on the opposite side of the room from where I slept (he was almost always in that spot). He was there and very colorful. They say spirits are colorful once they have passed on and are in a happy place. In the doorway to our room was another presence I but couldn’t tell who it was since it was dull and grey. My father in law knew I could sense spirit, maybe he brought the presence to me to help. I tried to get back to sleep and I must have nodded off and while sleeping I heard what sounded like the voice of the tram car down on the Wildwood, NJ boardwalk that said it will be 15 days! (The tram car on The BW says “watch the tram car please”). So, I’m up again and I am saying WTF will be 15 days?

The next morning I wake up and texted my godmother to check in and told her about my night, That it was unsettling but not anything else. She went on to say that Manda was admitted to the hospital because she was having complications and so on. I then asked her when she had gone in and she said February 5th. I was like Holy 🤬. Everything that happened the night before was falling into place. The presence in the doorway had to be Amanda. I contacted a medium to get clarity on how a presence could be a presence if they haven’t passed on. I was told that someone who is in the process of crossing over can be a spirit presence, but they can be very dark or grey. I was like holy 🤬 again. So now the “the tram car voice” that said “15 days” had to mean she was gonna pass on February 20th.

That night I woke up again and both presences were in the same place in the bathroom and in the doorway. Every night after that my father in law was around but the other presence which I assumed was Amanda wasn’t. All I could unfortunately do was countdown the days to the 20th. I didn’t know if the “15 days” was true, since I’m not a medium…. The days went on and I spoke to another medium through FB and asked a question about Amanda. She mentioned in her answer that when spirit isn’t ready to cross over they are probably holding onto something. They don’t wanna let go, just like we don’t wanna let go. She told me to say a prayer to her saying it was ok to let go and that we will all be ok. I can’t remember what night I said that prayer, but on the mid afternoon day on February, 20th 2016 Amanda passed away. She left us all empty inside asking why her?

I flew to NJ for the funeral, still being the only one besides my wife to know what had happened to me the past week. I couldn’t possibly tell this story to my godparents this soon. So I waited since we had a planned family vacation in July of the same year. I told my godmother the story of how it unfolded. She was then one of the few that new my heightened sense of spiritually. I finally felt free as if a weight was lifted off of me. Since then I felt Amanda around often, just watching out for us and making sure we are on the right track. It’s comforting to me to know I have spirits watching over me and my family.

Cheers,

Tom

On this 18th anniversary of the passing of my mother I have come to say “make your life count” Dealing with loss is just brutal. February is and always will be the toughest month to go through. I have grown to accept it, but for a long time I would sulk and be depressed. My moms birthday was last Saturday and her anniversary today. Not only that but 2 years ago on February 20th the world lost the most courageous person I know my god sister Amanda. So as you can see I have plenty of reason to go sit in the corner and be upset, but I choose to live my life through them and make my life count.

I have received a lot of feedback from this blog. Most said it wasn’t for them, another person said “it’s depressing as shit”. I get it, for most people it can be depressing, but this is how I express myself. If it helps just one person then I have done what I came here to do. I see what people read and I often wonder if it’s the same person coming back to check out Good Grievings 😉

My inspiration for the post today is from Tommie Harris. Former Chicago Bears football player. He lost his wife 41 days after being married. Man, I can’t imagine that! He is making his life count and helping others. He could have turned to drinking and drugs, but took the high road and is speaking about it. He says and I quote “death is a thing that happens in life, it’s not a thing that happens to life” (think about that for a minute). That’s deep!

My friends and hopefully return readers. “Make your life count” and try not to be upset for your loved ones are always with (check out my sensing spirit post 😉). As Tommy Harris says “WE CAN ENDOUR THIS”. Watch his video below and really think about what he is saying. You can tell how passionate he is about spreading his word and how he lives his life through his wife. Thank you Tommie for sharing.

Cheers,

Tom

My ultimate goal in life is to comfort others who are dealing with the loss of a loved ones. I Basically want to show you that there is a positive in grieving. This is a tall task, a very tall task. I’m a very sensitive soul, I can sense others negativity. Not just anyone though, mostly people that I know or work with. I want to share my experiences with you like I have in previous blog posts. I want to show you that it’s ok to grieve.

My original idea was for this blog was to do that. Unfortunately it didn’t work out for me like that. My previous posts took a toll on me and dug up all the sad feelings I have, and always will. It made others upset for me and maybe made some not want to read it, and that is ok. I had to step back and take all those comments with a grain of salt. I re read my previous posts and said to myself, “man that is depressing”….

So here I am on this rainy day quarantined to a spare room cause of the flu (medicine helps) writing to you because I felt inspired after watching this video on YouTube. It’s a little long but worth it. My mom was and his my hero. It’s amazing how much I learned through her… I live my day through her. Enjoy the video and keep smiling

https://youtu.be/Bg_Q7KYWG1g

Cheers,

Tom

Today is my oldest daughters 5th birthday. Where does time go? It was like yesterday when I first held her in my arms. It was like yesterday when I gave her her first bath, It was like yesterday when I held in her in a her room signing to her for the first time.  I miss those “baby” days.  I miss those cozy baby cuddles when she didn’t  “talk back”.  I miss those times.  As they say they grow up fast.  I now have full conversations with her. She is a Christmas geek just like me and up until a few weeks ago she is totally a weather geek like me. 

Today is a day to celebrate, a day to remember those baby days. It’s a day to celebrate the 5 wonderful years of my baby girl.   For me it is bittersweet.  It’s also another birthday that my mom won’t be here to celebrate with her. Yes, I know she is here spiritually but, Having Grandma here to celebrate would be spectacular.  My baby girl didn’t get to meet my mom, but for some reason I know she knows she’s around.  She may not realize it being so young but my mom is guiding her and watching her every move, just like she does with me. Trust me, my mom can and could do it all.  It’s as if she had super powers. She would have givin the world to my girls. She would have spoiled them wrotten.  That’s What Grandmas do……   

I see how BeeMa is around them and it makes me smile. I know she try’s her dardness to keep them smiling. I’m grateful for my girls to have her here.  I’m glad my girls are able to see what grandmas are for. To spoil and love there grandchildren unconditionally and also help out the parents a lot .  Thank you Beemaa. 😉❤️.
So today I will have a heavy heart. Today I will be a little more sad than I usually am. Most of all today I will celebrate my daughters birthday and remember that my mom is right by our sides celebrating with us and smiling as much as she can.   Maybe she is spoling them spiritually?  Can that happen?  Guess I ll never know….
Cheers, 

Tom

It really sucks that my mom isn’t here. As I get older it seems to effect me more. I don’t have her to turn to for Adult advice.  I mean she hasn’t been here for almost 18 years, and you would think I would have needed her more when I was younger.   Maybe it’s cause my kids are getting older and now starting school….  maybe it’s the fact that I’m getting older and I don’t have her to talk to about random shit.  Maybe it’s because she isn’t here to say “ya done good son” even though I know she is saying it. But hearing it and thinking it, is two totally different things.   

My mom isn’t phyically here, but she’s here with me.  I always remeber her from a picture I took of her in her uniform (911 dispatcher ) standing in the door way of her room mid conversation haha.  That made me smile!!   I miss my mom and I feel for those you have lost a parent no matter what age you are. It still sucks, I’m here for you and I always feel a connection even if I don’t know you. I started this blog to help myself grieve and also try to reach others who are grieving.  I also feel like I would like to be a grief counselor of some sort…. I donno, maybe I’m just meant to write this blog and tell stories of how I grieve and how I sense spirit.   What do think?

There is one that really bothers me about not having my mom here on earth.  It’s when someone talks negatively about there mother.  I get it, some don’t have good relationships with their mothers, and some don’t talk to their mothers at all.  The ones that do please be aware that some of us have had our mothers pass on and be respectful of that.  There was a time when someone said a “yo momma joke” to me and I took offense to it.  The person obviously didn’t know my mom had passed but it still really bothered me and I got defensive.  So please be respectful.

I have been following a blog recently who has  inspired  me to keep writing and telling my story, since it’s been a while since I wrote.  I suggest you follow her and read about how she grieves with the loss of her mom #grieftohope http://grieftohope.blogspot.com/?m=1. 

Trust me you won’t be disappointed.   I ll leave you with this quote, since you know how much I love following @thegoodqoute

Cheers,

Tom